The ring of Truth, and the Storm of Silence

[Bratu McCaskey]

Hails

Here is my difficulty and question. How does one interpret the divine. What i mean is let's say you get a sign from what you figure out to be an Indian Hindu God like Brama. Now let's consider that you are a christian or a Jew or Islamic when you feel that you recieve this sign. Here lies the problem is that a message from that God to try and lead you to the correct path? Or is it another God trying to tempt you? Or is it your God trying to test your faith? This i think is one of the most difficult scenarious. Especially when you consider previous factors such as what you were raised with, as well as sociatal standards and such. Where is the line drawn from one place to another? Because the reality of the situation is that if you listen to people and let them confuse you then won't be sure about the message or sign. And everyone is confused by others no matter how hard you try not to be. And it isn't as if one has more validity than the others. The reason i say this is because as it was said there is truth in all religions. Not just the monotheistic that is Christian/Judaism/Islam. There is a certain amount of pure old fashioned faith that you have to put into anything because more than likely all your questions will not be answered. So you will always have the capacity to question. That is my dilema or concern. I had a better formulation of the ideas i think but i have never claimed to be anything but stupid and certainly not a scholar by any stretch of the imagination.

Bratu

[DeAnna]

Shalom Bratu,

Once I entered a church. It was called Jacobs Well.
I was in my early twenties. I walked in and alomost immediately I felt a wave over me... almost gave me the giggles! Music was playing and people were rejoicing to a very up beat song. I had prayed and asked for G-d to bring me to a place where I could know him. And I found myself here. And thought... wow! I'm home. I was even "healed" there once.
They "spoke in tongues"... they laid hands on me every wed. night trying to get me to "receive the Holy Spirit" and said I too would speak in tongues when this happened.
I hated them doing it... made me feel really awkward.

They were very "money" oriented. This bothered me, but I closed my eyes to it for a good while. Then they came out with "commercials" for the church. These commercials were amazingly carnal and all about money. They showed them in the church one sunday... and I wanted to cry. Every one stood up clapping and cheering. I just sat there and looked around and fought tears.

I left that church. I gave up. I had been too and studied about almost every doctrine, religion, church etc. I could find. I went home, and I cried, and cried and cried.
Next day I got up and said; "we are not meant to know".

I still talked to "God" and all... but I refused to "search" anymore. One day in the car I was talking and was very upset... I was crying because I was still so confused and though I wanted to accept "we are not meant to know"... somehow I couldn't. This was the first time I heard "a voice". "Trust me". Well... Of course I thought!
OF course I trust you! I felt better. (smile)

Not long after, I found myself in that "class" I told you about. Call "IDMR": (Institute of Devine Metaphysical Research) And there it was I learned that all things point to the spiritual etc. It was just that ... "a class". Not like church... not like a "doctrine"... actually much of it was somewhat scientific. That is where I learned about the tabernacle etc. I like you... don't know a lot. But I unlike you did not have much "control" or self dicipline. I very much needed a deliverer. Not from the world, from myself! Riddled with guilt, and knowing I was a mere worm of the earth, I came on my hands and knees unto Yah. I call him Yah. We may call it "Truth". And that is what I would like to talk with you about. Truth.

Yes, there are "G-ds many, and lords many"... there are Doctrines many and paths many. But the truth is the truth is the truth. You can have seven witnesses to one incident and seven different stories of how the incident took place, but the reality of it is... it only took place one way.

I look at nature a lot to guide. But I guess it all depends on what you're after... ya know?
You say you follow a god of chaos. No doubt you have your reasons. I do not know what set says his kingdom is, or what his promises are. In fact I do not know him.
yah says his kingdom is; "righteousness, peace, and joy".
This is what I'm after. It's what I want with all my heart, more then anything, I want "righteousness, peace, and joy".
I do not want power. I do not want control. I do not want to be rich, or money, or possessions. I want a pure heart. I do not have that yet. But I must believe and do believe that it's in the making.
Yahshua (Yahs salvation) says here is how to get it.
"Forgive that ye may be forgiven"
"Judge not lest ye be judged, and the same measure you use against another, the same shall be used against you"
"Give to all who ask of you, and turn none away".
and... "ask, and ye shall recieve".

Well... that makes sense to me. My "gut" says this is right.
I have found we all have a "gut". And it is telling us the truth. The bible says Yah speaks in a "small still voice". This is what I have experienced.

I know with all my heart that Yah is not above the moon sun and stars sitting on a physical throne with his finger pointing down at us. But the spirit of truth is "in us". And I believe we all have it, and were always able to hear it before mans inventions and conviences, and lies, and control took us away from hearing our gut. That small still voice. Often I find... it's time to just "listen".
Love,
D'

[Bratu McCaskey]

Hotep

Today is a rough day and an emotional day. I have those once in a while. My emotions are very erratic and i try to hold on as best i can but i have to understand how i am and how i act about things. My dog is being put to sleep tomorrow which is meager to most bad things but i am very attached to her. I have had her for 15 years. That and i read something last night and i posted back and it brought tears and i don't cry. So the last fews days have been odd and emotional to say the least.

Deanna
Your temperment as always is sweet. For whatever reason there is comfort in your voice.
The churches who seek money above all else....that is why i have the biggest bias against the catholics seems to me that they are one of the worst for that.

The God who said "Trust Me". This i respect because a similar thing happened to my mother as a child.

I too was riddled with guilt because of the way i was raised and because of simple expectations. It is so hard when you decide what you have been taught your whole life isn't what you think is right. Basically you establish that your parents at a young age are infalible are now capable of being wrong. It is just plain old fashioned difficult.
You are right the event took place one way but who is to say which perception is the right way? Because that is what it boils down to, perception. What you percieve happened. Because no two people will see something the same way. And because of that if a person doesn't add anything that they didn't honestly percieve then all versions are true. Because that is what was observed. Like a colorblind person. To us it is red to him it is green. Is he wrong because his perception tells him it is green, No. To him and for him that is right because that is what he percieves.

I agree nature is a guide and nature is perfect. Yes a God of chaos but alot of that is instincts and natural side of things versus the weaver or technical side. Do you understand? It is just hard for me to explain because i have a really hard time relaying. Set promises nothing to me truthfully but i don't expect promises. All i am after is the fulfillment that offers me. Looking to Him and doing what i can to serve Him helps me. Because i know He cares for me. "When the jewels cease to sparkle, and the gold loses its luster, and the throneroom becomes a prison; all that is left is a Father's love for his child".

Righteousness, peace and Joy.
I will never know peace i don't think. I think it beyond my destiny and fate. And for some reason righteousness has always been a bad word to me almost errogant. I guess i can see where you would want that but for some reason i don't know that that is something i am after. However joy is the fundamental that is what we all have in common.
I don't know that i want anything except to honestly feel needed. Feel like if i were gone tomorrow someone would miss me someone would have just a little bit harder time getting by with out me. And i don't have that honestly. And it drives me insane. I realize people need me but i need to believe it somehow. I want to help people. I want to suffer so they don't have to. I want to help people through the things that were hard for me so they don't have to go through what i have.

All i have is my gut that is the one thing i count on above all else. And that is why i am where i am right now with Set. I want to follow my heart and my gut to the ends of the earth because is it the one thing that will never betray me.

I break myself because i can, and i will never know why

bratu

[Sandy]

Bratu, I found your post very moving. I feel you have a tender heart and are seeking the way of truth just like the rest of us.

I am sorry to hear about your loving pet and I certainly understand your feelings.

You spoke of your respect of nature. I have a native American prayer that I would like to share with you.

• O Great and Most High Spirit.
  Whose voice I hear in the wind.
  Whose breath gives life to every soul.
  Hear Me!
  I am so small and weak.
  I need your strength and wisdom.
  May I walk in beauty,
  and may my eyes always behold the red and purple sunset.
  May my hands always respect the things you have made,
  and may my ears always be sharp to hear your voice.
  May I be wise so that I may understand the things that you teach your people.
  May I learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
  I seek wisdom and strength,
  not to be better than my brothers and sisters,
  but to defeat my greatest enemy - the one whose face is against you.
  May I always be ready to come to You with clean hands and straight eyes,
  so that when my life fades like the fading sunset,
  my spirit may come to You without shame.

Bratu, may the Great and Most High Spirit see your tender heart and protect it from harm and sorrow.

[DeAnna]

Shalom Bratu, (Hotep. smile... what does that mean? bigger smile)

Being of the female gender... I often wonder about my emotions. sometimes I just want to cry and dont' know why. Sometimes I'm sad or agitated... and don't know why.
Women have a "cycle" that they can refer too... and often it's right on, and it does "help" to know there is a reason, and no, we're not just loosing it.

Men have a cycle too. But not so easy to pin point. Though if one lives with you long enough... they can. (grin). I have noticed men are on a two week cycle. I don't know why. They (in general) are loving and warm about every other week. On the off week, they seem restless and you best be willing to do something ACTIVE or they will pick a fight. (lol). nah... just an observation... nothing scientific or sure there.

It is hard to feel loss of anything we love. I have a poem for you. (don't know how you feel about poems) It helped me, when I went through a loss.

Believe...
.... Within this faith, awaits the gift of wisdom:
For you seek to learn... The subtle difference
Between Him holding your soul,
And you harbouring His spirit...

And you learn...
That love doesn't mean posessing.
And posession doesn't mean worth...

And you learn...
To receive your losses with the dignity of a man,
and not the greif of a child.

And you learn...
That an ending is a beginning,
and death is truly a birth...

And you learn...
To give all you can today,
because tomorrow hasn't been given you yet.

And you learn...
That letting go
Is just another way of loving.

And you learn...
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

And Then... you learn;
That because of your faith,
you now have worth...

You learn...
And you learn...
With every good bye...
You learn.


Often we mean the most to those that go un noticed. Because you say;
"I want to help people. I want to suffer their pain so they don't have too"
I know, you are needed. And it's true... it doesn't mean you will feel it. or know it.
Not every minute anyway. But there will be a time, when all things will come to light.
Even in our greatest darkness.

What a man Moses must have been to say;
"if you blot their names out, blot me out too."

For one to lay down his life for another. People such as these are truly, most definately, needed.

I just read Sandys' beautiful prayer. I almost didn't post, as what she shared has such wonderful longing unto the most high. But I asked Yah to put his word in my mouth, and well... the above is what came to mind... and so I too post.

from my heart,
Love,
D'

Sandy, I loved it!

[Sandy]

DeAnna, your poem is beautiful, just like your heart.